First off, that was a rather interesting speech on social interactions and the courage to get through well, life, socially- both of the positive and the negative natures!
I can certainly relate to the struggles which she presented in this video. I have never quite been a very social person, in fact, technically, in high school a psychologist technically told me I had a 'social phobia'.
So interacting for me is not always the best of things, at least face to face. I understand it, but at my age right now, I have not yet found my 'voice' in the world.
My art could be part of my 'voice', as I can use it to portray meaning through imagery, but this is something that even after 4 years, I still struggle with.
I haven't found my way to put it in a neat little bento box, both my voice and my art. It's kind of hard, when some days it feels like you're trying to pick up each individual kernel of rice with chopsticks.
(Granted, because I took Japanese courses in high school, I'm actually very well skilled at chopsticks! My teacher found it amusing to give us one of the exercises with chopsticks that he had to do as a kid in Japan- picking up macaroni, blocks, all sorts of tiny objects with chopsticks- also whenever we had cooking classes more than not we'd have to eat with chopsticks too!)
As for invulnerability, well, this is also something I'm beginning to struggle with. There are a lot of elements which make us vulnerable in this world- how much money we have in the bank, what is our job, race, personality, all sorts of things and emotions. And you have to deal with all these issues in some sort of way.
According to Brown, it is better to accept these vulnerabilities for what they are, than try and fight them. Fighting them will lock you up, will numb you to your emotions. Which is no surprise in our nation seeing as she accurately noticed that we are a society filled with anti-depressant (drugged), obese, debtors, along with plenty other ways we are screwed up here in this country. (Politics, our economy, whatever).
But numb emotions will get you nowhere. It doesn't allow you to grow as a person, and make progress. Ya know, to be the strong river, and not the stagnant pond which eventually begins to grow algae and all sorts of other muck which does the pond no good.
You have to have courage.
Courage is certainly something I've dealt with for the past few years, or rather, since coming here to Ringling. I've had more than one time while I was here where I was nearly in danger of failing out (in fact, quite recently, in fact)- literally where I have been pushed to my mental limits and then some with the massive amount of work this school puts on me.
Even now, I really have to have courage. I'm a senior, so trying to juggle my liberal arts classes with my illustration senior project is a SERIOUS day to day struggle for me.
I do admit that I have dropped the ball a bit. But hopefully I can avoid that from here on out. I'm only human. I make mistakes.
Just have to keep on going, and try as best I can. Courage that I can make it through my last semester in one piece, and graduate, because otherwise, well, that would be a great American tragedy because this school is so flippin expensive per year.
But thinking about that sort of stuff does me no good either. Think of the positives. Courage. I will not screw up on any of my courses, I will graduate, I will get a job where I want, I will make it in one piece or die trying.
Courage to make my dreams, too. Right now, actually, one of my dreams is to go overseas and see another country. Last summer I got my very first passport- and now, I'm trying to organize all the paperwork to apply for jobs in South Korea and Japan. Obviously I've always wanted to go to Japan, but I've heard that South Korea is a bit better economically right now. I'm willing to try a new culture or two while I'm still young- home is a bit screwed up right now anyways- seems like a good time to get out and do things.
So yes, I have courage, underneath my shy, somewhat screwed up exterior. I only show it when I absolutely have to, which tends to be moreso in my writing than in person.
Maybe that'll change. Maybe not. Only time, and maturity, will tell.
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