My head hurts. I'm exhausted. I suppose this is a similar theme of seniors, as we prepare our final projects at Ringling, attempt to pack, and try and be social with everybody who is coming together to celebrate another class who has jumped through the 4 years of flaming art school hoops and survived the ordeal.
Excuse me while I push out all my thoughts out in a few posts, but, that seems to be the status quo with my life lately. Everything aside from my senior project was on the backburner, and some aspects, even, which I regret. My social life, for one (imagine that, it's a good reason why I've been kinda sketchy on the posts...sorry). Like....
I barely speak to my roommates.
Aside from labs I spend very little time with people and it's nothing regularly.
I had to try and concentrate this year without a support network (long story but primarily because that support network I previously had, well, graduated the year before leaving me here for another year in limbo).
Pair that with yeah, preparing to leave this place into that big, scary, real world, and....
I am going to like, curl up in a ball in my home in WA and just SLEEP for a week straight.
Sometimes I liken Ringling to a somewhat abusive partner. It means well, but, at times, it has no consideration for its students, letting them fall if they so choose to, or not, it means not much to it, it will survive none the less.
It could be worse though. At least I'm still somewhat sane. At least I'm not this kid.
(Okay, that was random, but um...yeah...out of things to say on this post- time to reflect on a few more things)
Monday, April 25, 2011
Friday, April 1, 2011
Choice here choice there
"Social media rearranges the way we make choices." - Malcolm Gladwell at Ringling College
I would suspect that social media has a way of influencing our choices- it is a more instant, direct form of communication than perhaps what was present in previous days.
Like yesterday, I woke up and checked my email box- I had three companies who I had applied to the other day (teaching English overseas in Japan, to be specific), with my resume and the whole nine yards, had gotten back to me.
One wants me to come to an interview next weekend (9TH) in Los Angeles. (Although I don't know...NEXT EFFIN WEEKEND!? Thanks for the short notice....*facepalm*...either that or I wait until May when their next rounds of interviews are...)
Another wants a phone interview.
The third is screening my application and will get back to me in a few weeks (but this opportunity is in Portland in May or June, anyways).
This set of outcomes made me seriously happy. I posted up my status on my Facebook, and within, oh, 15 minutes, I had numerous "likes" and comments of encouragement.
This encourages me to go forward with my plans, no matter how bad or good it may be. If I had not gotten such immediate feedback, would I have changed my plans? Maybe. Maybe not. Then again, I am pretty firm in that I really want to go to Japan and teach English at least for a year or two (in particular, because I don't feel my portfolio is firm enough to get a job at an art company, but I don't want to work at Starbucks, either....)
Of course, in a way, it has changed alot of us in society in that we expect somewhat quicker results, somewhat more instantaneous feedback.....some people say people of my generation are impatient. Perhaps we are.
I would suspect that social media has a way of influencing our choices- it is a more instant, direct form of communication than perhaps what was present in previous days.
Like yesterday, I woke up and checked my email box- I had three companies who I had applied to the other day (teaching English overseas in Japan, to be specific), with my resume and the whole nine yards, had gotten back to me.
One wants me to come to an interview next weekend (9TH) in Los Angeles. (Although I don't know...NEXT EFFIN WEEKEND!? Thanks for the short notice....*facepalm*...either that or I wait until May when their next rounds of interviews are...)
Another wants a phone interview.
The third is screening my application and will get back to me in a few weeks (but this opportunity is in Portland in May or June, anyways).
This set of outcomes made me seriously happy. I posted up my status on my Facebook, and within, oh, 15 minutes, I had numerous "likes" and comments of encouragement.
This encourages me to go forward with my plans, no matter how bad or good it may be. If I had not gotten such immediate feedback, would I have changed my plans? Maybe. Maybe not. Then again, I am pretty firm in that I really want to go to Japan and teach English at least for a year or two (in particular, because I don't feel my portfolio is firm enough to get a job at an art company, but I don't want to work at Starbucks, either....)
Of course, in a way, it has changed alot of us in society in that we expect somewhat quicker results, somewhat more instantaneous feedback.....some people say people of my generation are impatient. Perhaps we are.
Lenses, hmm?
"Creative people view the world through profoundly different lens than most. Many do not see things the way you do...people have to see the world through different lens." - Malcolm Gladwell at Ringling College
I would agree with this statement, at first glance, although, I'm not sure it necessarily just applies to 'creative' people. Really, it a broad statement- nobody can see the world the same way as another. We all have our experiences, and each of us may share some (I went to Ringling, I went to X school, grew up in Y town, moved to Z city), but others, well, are specific, and those too, make up who you are.
Perhaps creative people just see the world as something that is not just interacted with (as most people do on a daily basis), but something to be inspired by, and to try and take which they are inspired by, and create something totally new from it, their own vision of how they see the world.....
Or maybe it could just be a way of saying, not many people go to an expensive, classy art school like I have done. Ha ha. Who knows. I realize we all see things differently, but, I try not to think much of the differences as a bad or selective thing, but as a good thing, that I can take, work with, and then hopefully get something entirely new and interesting from it.
I would agree with this statement, at first glance, although, I'm not sure it necessarily just applies to 'creative' people. Really, it a broad statement- nobody can see the world the same way as another. We all have our experiences, and each of us may share some (I went to Ringling, I went to X school, grew up in Y town, moved to Z city), but others, well, are specific, and those too, make up who you are.
Perhaps creative people just see the world as something that is not just interacted with (as most people do on a daily basis), but something to be inspired by, and to try and take which they are inspired by, and create something totally new from it, their own vision of how they see the world.....
Or maybe it could just be a way of saying, not many people go to an expensive, classy art school like I have done. Ha ha. Who knows. I realize we all see things differently, but, I try not to think much of the differences as a bad or selective thing, but as a good thing, that I can take, work with, and then hopefully get something entirely new and interesting from it.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Utter annoyance
You know what's awkward? And often annoying?
Dealing with people at the airport. God, do I hate the airport sometimes.
It's the only place in the world where I have to show my ID a gajillion times, get possibly passed through a bomb scanner, everybody is up in my stuff, and then I have to wait (possibly with an overpriced coffee) to get squished into a flying tin can for flights that can last on average, about 4 hours (Example: Denver <-> Tampa).
Mean the while, I had a little dilemma yesterday in communication. US Airways, decided to keep me here in Boston because their flight to Charlotte had been delayed, thusly, I would have missed my flight connection there home to Sarasota.
I tried to ask them why and if there was obviously any way to get me there to connect, as, obviously I'm missing class and I HATE that when I can avoid it, but, no dice. No matter how many times I tried it, and trust me, I tried. Blocked. Denied. My train of thought < US Airway's train of thought (and business model).
So then also began the social awkwardness of calling my friend up (who had used the T network to get to Logan in the first place) and telling her I needed to crash for another night. Then I had to get over to South Station. Then there was an air of confusement as obviously I was supposed to have been GONE that day.....but I wasn't.
The theme of this post- airlines can be rather sucky and crush all your plans with a simple "I'm sorry, your flight is delayed.".
Dealing with people at the airport. God, do I hate the airport sometimes.
It's the only place in the world where I have to show my ID a gajillion times, get possibly passed through a bomb scanner, everybody is up in my stuff, and then I have to wait (possibly with an overpriced coffee) to get squished into a flying tin can for flights that can last on average, about 4 hours (Example: Denver <-> Tampa).
Mean the while, I had a little dilemma yesterday in communication. US Airways, decided to keep me here in Boston because their flight to Charlotte had been delayed, thusly, I would have missed my flight connection there home to Sarasota.
I tried to ask them why and if there was obviously any way to get me there to connect, as, obviously I'm missing class and I HATE that when I can avoid it, but, no dice. No matter how many times I tried it, and trust me, I tried. Blocked. Denied. My train of thought < US Airway's train of thought (and business model).
So then also began the social awkwardness of calling my friend up (who had used the T network to get to Logan in the first place) and telling her I needed to crash for another night. Then I had to get over to South Station. Then there was an air of confusement as obviously I was supposed to have been GONE that day.....but I wasn't.
The theme of this post- airlines can be rather sucky and crush all your plans with a simple "I'm sorry, your flight is delayed.".
Monday, March 14, 2011
Con stuff
Conventions of all sorts can drive me up a wall.
I don't like massive crowds at all.
Yet here I am, at PAX EAST, to get contacts for an industry I'm interested in (gaming), but part of me has been hanging back in the background somewhat.
I get overwhelmed by the masses of people after awhile- all the noise of people, all the interacting between people you don't know- it eventually burns me out.
In particular, when it comes to job/talking to professionals, I lock up a bit. I spoke to a few people from various studios (UDON, Oni, and Turbine) about positions in their studios that were available/tips on how to break into them.
God, did I feel so nervous while talking to them! I don't have stuff to show them right now, and I'm not really that sure my work is up to the level it should be for submitting it to companies.
Sometimes I think Ringling, needs to be in a major city where I wouldn't feel as nervous getting into the art industries. For an art school, it has a distinct disadvantage in that it's in the middle of effin nowhere. Hmmm.
But, I did talk to a few people who have likeminded thoughts like I did. And with them, it was easy to open up conversation, because we had a relative subject, and socially, we felt we could relate to each other somewhat.
(well, okay, one of the fellows was almost 30, and here I am, only 22, but...)
So I had some conversation hiccups during the con, but well, after spending so much time in my art batcave at school, who could blame me? I don't have many friends I talk to on a daily basis there. Most of the time there I go to class, then go back to my dorm, work, rinse, repeat. Hmm.
But it was great to get out for spring break, even if I had to bring work and business along. I felt...alive again.
Hopefully I can feel alive again, after I graduate. But I have work in FL to finish.
(As much as I'd love to stay in Boston until I die....but...)
I don't like massive crowds at all.
Yet here I am, at PAX EAST, to get contacts for an industry I'm interested in (gaming), but part of me has been hanging back in the background somewhat.
I get overwhelmed by the masses of people after awhile- all the noise of people, all the interacting between people you don't know- it eventually burns me out.
In particular, when it comes to job/talking to professionals, I lock up a bit. I spoke to a few people from various studios (UDON, Oni, and Turbine) about positions in their studios that were available/tips on how to break into them.
God, did I feel so nervous while talking to them! I don't have stuff to show them right now, and I'm not really that sure my work is up to the level it should be for submitting it to companies.
Sometimes I think Ringling, needs to be in a major city where I wouldn't feel as nervous getting into the art industries. For an art school, it has a distinct disadvantage in that it's in the middle of effin nowhere. Hmmm.
But, I did talk to a few people who have likeminded thoughts like I did. And with them, it was easy to open up conversation, because we had a relative subject, and socially, we felt we could relate to each other somewhat.
(well, okay, one of the fellows was almost 30, and here I am, only 22, but...)
So I had some conversation hiccups during the con, but well, after spending so much time in my art batcave at school, who could blame me? I don't have many friends I talk to on a daily basis there. Most of the time there I go to class, then go back to my dorm, work, rinse, repeat. Hmm.
But it was great to get out for spring break, even if I had to bring work and business along. I felt...alive again.
Hopefully I can feel alive again, after I graduate. But I have work in FL to finish.
(As much as I'd love to stay in Boston until I die....but...)
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
I shipped up to Boston
So, hello, blog! I'm here on Spring Break in Boston (also doing work while I'm in Boston because I'm staying at a friend's house who graduated from Ringling last year as a CA...not that far away from interwebs and a scanner and tablets!).
It feels really nice to be among friends again. Most of my friends who I was friends with at Ringling graduated last year (I switched majors so I had to study an extra year), so, I was so happy to land at Logan, and find friends waiting for me.
Most people at school know me as a quiet sort of person. Except my real friends, and well, then I really open up to them......
Another interesting thing that has happened thus far on my break- I saw one of my cousins who I haven't seen for, well, about six years in person. He goes to school in this area, at Northeastern, majoring in Nursing. I wasn't quite sure how to open it up, and he wasn't either. So it was sort of like we were strangers for a bit, you know 'how are you', then proceeded to talk about another relative topic- school.
I talked to him about how busy I was with my senior project and annoyances with real life. He talked about how he was pulling 12 hour shifts at Mass General and annoyances with real life. Talked about family, who I hadn't seen for awhile. Talked about COMIC BOOKS!. It was probably around the comic books moment when we finally started to feel a bit more comfortable around each other.
By the end of the night it was awesome. Maybe because we're family, it's something you really can't change. You need to be there if you can for each other. It's just a socially accepted way of life, otherwise you're seen as something taboo.
But I wouldn't shun my family! That's horrible.
(And besides, apparently, I found out, if I get into comic books, even if it's just coloring, I will have three fans- my two cousins, and my uncle. LOL!)
It feels really nice to be among friends again. Most of my friends who I was friends with at Ringling graduated last year (I switched majors so I had to study an extra year), so, I was so happy to land at Logan, and find friends waiting for me.
Most people at school know me as a quiet sort of person. Except my real friends, and well, then I really open up to them......
Another interesting thing that has happened thus far on my break- I saw one of my cousins who I haven't seen for, well, about six years in person. He goes to school in this area, at Northeastern, majoring in Nursing. I wasn't quite sure how to open it up, and he wasn't either. So it was sort of like we were strangers for a bit, you know 'how are you', then proceeded to talk about another relative topic- school.
I talked to him about how busy I was with my senior project and annoyances with real life. He talked about how he was pulling 12 hour shifts at Mass General and annoyances with real life. Talked about family, who I hadn't seen for awhile. Talked about COMIC BOOKS!. It was probably around the comic books moment when we finally started to feel a bit more comfortable around each other.
By the end of the night it was awesome. Maybe because we're family, it's something you really can't change. You need to be there if you can for each other. It's just a socially accepted way of life, otherwise you're seen as something taboo.
But I wouldn't shun my family! That's horrible.
(And besides, apparently, I found out, if I get into comic books, even if it's just coloring, I will have three fans- my two cousins, and my uncle. LOL!)
Friday, March 4, 2011
The art of the car ride+jobs
I have real problems with getting off campus.
Last time I tried to go off campus was to go to the bank.
My tire ended up blowing out. My bike is currently stranded downtown, IF it hasn't been stolen yet. Luckily it was a $35 bike from Goodwill that I was PLANNING on getting rid of at the end of the semester ANYWAYS.
Then today, I had a class where apparently the class had decided to go landscape painting in a local state park.
I couldn't find a ride out there, so I feel really stupid now. Not to mention I had missed the previous class before because of thesis/my screwed up sleep schedule, so, indeed, I feel REALLY stupid and embarrassed.
Trying to arrange a favor, or something like that, is really hard for me. I have a hard time 'reaching' out to people because I am always worried about their reactions. And that I will get a negative one. I suppose I'm a pessimist like that, and by always assuming the worst, sometimes I hold back unnecessarily?
Another example of this is that I'm currently trying to find references so I can start applying for jobs- in particular the few that are overseas- I need to hurry up on those because they have background checks which take 3 months thanks to our slow FBI.
I feel like I don't have any references really, or that, it's hard for me to ask "can you be a reference for me?" and not feel awkard about it. I always assume that people don't think very highly of me, I guess.
Granted, a lot of this is in my head, but, of course, what starts in the head can be externalized, and this is why a lot of people see me as 'shy' and 'aloof' in real life. With my family, and close friends, I'm really open, but the number of people I REALLY open up to is very, very few.
Most people only see another mask of mine, and it's rather closed off to alot of people. I apologize. Part of it is youth. Part of it is just who I am. It makes this life of mine somewhat tough at times, but, yet, thus is life. I guess.
Last time I tried to go off campus was to go to the bank.
My tire ended up blowing out. My bike is currently stranded downtown, IF it hasn't been stolen yet. Luckily it was a $35 bike from Goodwill that I was PLANNING on getting rid of at the end of the semester ANYWAYS.
Then today, I had a class where apparently the class had decided to go landscape painting in a local state park.
I couldn't find a ride out there, so I feel really stupid now. Not to mention I had missed the previous class before because of thesis/my screwed up sleep schedule, so, indeed, I feel REALLY stupid and embarrassed.
Trying to arrange a favor, or something like that, is really hard for me. I have a hard time 'reaching' out to people because I am always worried about their reactions. And that I will get a negative one. I suppose I'm a pessimist like that, and by always assuming the worst, sometimes I hold back unnecessarily?
Another example of this is that I'm currently trying to find references so I can start applying for jobs- in particular the few that are overseas- I need to hurry up on those because they have background checks which take 3 months thanks to our slow FBI.
I feel like I don't have any references really, or that, it's hard for me to ask "can you be a reference for me?" and not feel awkard about it. I always assume that people don't think very highly of me, I guess.
Granted, a lot of this is in my head, but, of course, what starts in the head can be externalized, and this is why a lot of people see me as 'shy' and 'aloof' in real life. With my family, and close friends, I'm really open, but the number of people I REALLY open up to is very, very few.
Most people only see another mask of mine, and it's rather closed off to alot of people. I apologize. Part of it is youth. Part of it is just who I am. It makes this life of mine somewhat tough at times, but, yet, thus is life. I guess.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)